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Dating online this Valentine’s Day? Here’s how to spot an AI romance scam

What experts say you should never ignore while dating online

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Manisha Priyadarshini / Digital Trends

Valentine’s Day is around the corner, and cybersecurity experts warn that the season of love is also the peak season for romance scams. As people swipe, match, and open up online on dating apps and social media, scammers are using AI to scale fake relationships with speed and precision.

Such romance scams are spreading fast, and artificial intelligence is making them far more convincing than the awkward catfishing attempts of the past. What once felt easy to spot now looks thoughtful, emotionally tuned, and unsettlingly real scams. For victims, the damage is not just emotional. It is often financial, and sometimes life-altering.

Why romance scams are exploding

Romance scams have quietly become one of the most costly forms of online fraud. According to the US Federal Trade Commission, reported losses to romance scams totalled $1.14 billion in 2023, making them one of the most financially damaging scam categories tracked by the agency. Regulators say those losses continue to rise as scams become more sophisticated and harder to detect due to the use of AI.

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What sets today’s scams apart is how quickly trust is built. Instead of manually crafting messages, scammers now use large language models (LLMs) to generate emotionally engaging conversations at scale. Messages feel attentive and deeply personal, even when they are sent to hundreds of people at once. Many victims do not realise anything is wrong until money enters the conversation.

How AI is changing the scam playbook

With the help of AI, scammers now adapt in real time, and send messages based on a target’s tone, interests, or vulnerabilities. Text-generation tools help mirror language and emotion, making conversations feel natural and responsive.

Voice cloning has added another layer of realism. With short audio samples, scammers can recreate a person’s voice to send convincing voice notes or calls.

Some groups are also experimenting with deepfake video chats, using AI-generated visuals or prerecorded footage to simulate live interaction. The result is a scam that feels authentic enough to bypass warning signs people once relied on.

The emotional hook and the money trap

Cybersecurity experts say most romance scams follow a familiar pattern. Darius Kingsley, Head of Consumer Business Practices at Chase Bank, says, “Online romantic acquaintances may approach unsuspecting victims to lure them in, either through friendly texts or on dating apps, then request money or propose an investment opportunity.”

Here is a practical checklist of warning signs you should look out for:

  • The person claims to live or work far away, often overseas.
  • Their profile looks unusually perfect or professionally curated.
  • The relationship escalates very quickly with intense emotional language.
  • Promises to meet in person are repeatedly delayed or cancelled.
  • Conversations shift toward money, investments, or financial emergencies.
  • Cryptocurrency or forex trading are mentioned early or framed as urgent.
  • You are pressured to use a specific payment method.

How to protect yourself before it’s too late

Experts agree that prevention starts with slowing down because romance scams rely on urgency, secrecy, and emotional pressure.

According to Steve Grobman, Senior Vice President and Chief Technology Officer at McAfee, “a healthy dose of skepticism, combined with using the right tools to protect your privacy, identity, and personal information, is a good place to start.”

Here is a checklist shared by USSFCU to protect yourself from romance scams:

  • Take relationships slowly and be cautious of intense emotional bonding early on.
  • Verify identities by meeting them in person.
  • Ask the person to turn their head fully or wave a hand in front of their face during a video call. Many AI deepfake tools struggle with sudden or exaggerated movements.
  • Watch for visual glitches as faces can briefly distort, freeze, or lose alignment when the software fails to track motion correctly.
  • Be aware that advanced deepfakes may still pass these tests.
  • Never send money, gifts, or cryptocurrency to someone you have not met in person.
  • Reverse-image search profile photos to check for reused images.
  • Talk to friends or family about new online relationships.
  • Lock down social media privacy settings to limit misuse of your data.

When people are emotionally invested, inconsistencies are easier to overlook. That is why scammers often discourage victims from discussing the relationship with friends or family, framing outside concern as jealousy or misunderstanding.

John Clay, Vice President of Threat Intelligence at Trend Micro, notes that scammers use urgency and isolation to bypass rational thinking, which is why outside perspectives of trusted family and friends are so important.

A caution for anyone dating online right now

Romance scams are not just evolving, they are becoming harder to recognise, with AI quietly doing much of the work behind the scenes. Valentine’s Day simply amplifies the risk as people seek connection and lower their guard.

While the technology driving these scams is changing fast, the core advice remains unchanged. Take your time. Verify who you are talking to. Be wary of the moment money, investments, or urgency enter the conversation, particularly if you have never met in person.

In an age where algorithms can convincingly simulate care and intimacy, trusting your instincts may still be the most important safeguard you have.

Manisha Priyadarshini
Manisha Priyadarshini is a tech and entertainment writer with over nine years of editorial experience.
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